Well, you know how i said i was gonna start getting my stomach back to where i want it the day after Thanksgiving? ... Yeah that was yesterday, and it so didn't happen. My best friend and i went Black Friday shopping, so i was up all of Thursday night into Friday morning, and for some reason, when i don't get enough sleep, i just end up eating all day long and doing nothing else. Fuck it, though. Today it shall begin! No excuses and no quitting. I'm doing it. You all are holding me accountable for that.
I don't really have a set plan though. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It could be good in the sense that i can't quit and go junk food crazy the second i mess up my plan, but it could also be a bad thing because no plan pretty much means no goal to work towards. What is your experiences in this? Better with or without a solid plan? I'll gladly accept plan suggestions as well. Just remember, i don't want to go too extreme. Ana doesn't need to get full control of me again; i'm in control of her now and want to keep it that way.
Love to you all. I'll greatly appreciate comments and you all sending your friends over here to read. I really need to get back in the scene in this blogging community. I miss it, and you all so very much.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Apologies and Updates
It's been forever since i posted. My life just went absolutely crazy there for a while. Remember how Scott was supposed to not be controlling this time around and be so wonderful and fix my entire life, saving me from the strip club and everything like that? ...yeah, didn't happen. I quit working at the club, and he still accused me of cheating on him while i was at work, while i was away from him to spend the night comfortably in my own bed, etc. I really don't want to talk about it a lot. I still love him; always will, but i could not be with him. He had me seriously contemplating suicide on a daily basis. Can't do that. Therefore, i've been single for a little over a month now, and ya know what? I like it! I used to think i needed someone to be happy, but i really don't. I've got myself and my daughter to live for. Fuck the rest of the world. Maybe someday love will find me, but as of now, i'm content with what i've got.
My ex husband and i are actually on very good terms now. Friendship only, of course. I don't know, i've been considering more, but am really not certain about that. I've always loved him, but i don't wanna support him. That was the main problem we had before. *shrugs* Who knows where it'll go; i'm just taking it one day at a time.
I am back at the club, but i'm loving it. My boss is a wonderful man. He's great to go to for advice on just about anything. Dancing naked for strangers isn't all that terrible now that i don't have a man to go home to who will accuse me of sleeping with said strangers every night. In fact, it's a huge ego boost to know that i COULD have any man i wanted and choose none of them. Very empowering.
My daughter just turned 2 in September. My goodness, time flies by so fast. She's so smart now: singing her ABCs and counting to 10 all by herself (when she feels like it, that is). She's developing one hell of an attitude too. In her mind, it's her way or the highway, but Momma feels the same way: MY way or the highway. I guess that's probably where she got that attitude from. Haha. Oopsie! Something i shouldn't have passed on there, huh?
Still living with the parents at the moment, but that's not all that bad. They give me my space; i give them their space and we all get along just fine. They help me out here and there, and i try to do the same for them. It keeps me financially comfortable too. They absolutely love having my little one running around their house always, and they're so helpful with babysitting when i have to work or do whatever else without her.
Overall, my life is quite good. AND on the Ana front, i'm doing phenomenal. I can honestly say i'm completely comfortable with my body just as it is now. I'm 5'5" and weigh 136, but i'm ok with it. I actually think i'm quite beautiful, not to sound stuck up, but it's just nice. I really do hope you all can find that satisfaction someday. I do want to tone my stomach up a little bit though. I plan to start doing that right after this awful American holiday of Thanksgiving passes. I'll keep you more updated now, i promise. I'll try to catch up on what's been happening with you all too. Please leave me comments and let me know how you're all doing. I LOVE YOU BUNCHES! *mwah*
My ex husband and i are actually on very good terms now. Friendship only, of course. I don't know, i've been considering more, but am really not certain about that. I've always loved him, but i don't wanna support him. That was the main problem we had before. *shrugs* Who knows where it'll go; i'm just taking it one day at a time.
I am back at the club, but i'm loving it. My boss is a wonderful man. He's great to go to for advice on just about anything. Dancing naked for strangers isn't all that terrible now that i don't have a man to go home to who will accuse me of sleeping with said strangers every night. In fact, it's a huge ego boost to know that i COULD have any man i wanted and choose none of them. Very empowering.
My daughter just turned 2 in September. My goodness, time flies by so fast. She's so smart now: singing her ABCs and counting to 10 all by herself (when she feels like it, that is). She's developing one hell of an attitude too. In her mind, it's her way or the highway, but Momma feels the same way: MY way or the highway. I guess that's probably where she got that attitude from. Haha. Oopsie! Something i shouldn't have passed on there, huh?
Still living with the parents at the moment, but that's not all that bad. They give me my space; i give them their space and we all get along just fine. They help me out here and there, and i try to do the same for them. It keeps me financially comfortable too. They absolutely love having my little one running around their house always, and they're so helpful with babysitting when i have to work or do whatever else without her.
Overall, my life is quite good. AND on the Ana front, i'm doing phenomenal. I can honestly say i'm completely comfortable with my body just as it is now. I'm 5'5" and weigh 136, but i'm ok with it. I actually think i'm quite beautiful, not to sound stuck up, but it's just nice. I really do hope you all can find that satisfaction someday. I do want to tone my stomach up a little bit though. I plan to start doing that right after this awful American holiday of Thanksgiving passes. I'll keep you more updated now, i promise. I'll try to catch up on what's been happening with you all too. Please leave me comments and let me know how you're all doing. I LOVE YOU BUNCHES! *mwah*
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