Oh Dear....

Well, i broke down and went to the Emergency Room to find out what was up with my stomach... And i found out all right. Are you sitting down? I'm pregnant.... To my ex-husband.... With twins! Yeah. How crazy is that? My ex hubby and i were talking about fixing our marraige before Gaige stepped into the picture, and well...things happened. I didn't think anything of it, but the date of conception matches up with him. I've told him and Gaige both, and both say they're willing to stay with me through it all, but i honestly feel that i should do it with my husband. Before i found out i was pregnant, i was having second thoughts about being with Gaige. He never wants to hang out with me and Babygirl. He always wants her to have a babysitter, and just have one on one time with me, which is cool once in a while, but not all the time. And i'd been thinking of my husband a lot. There's a big part of me that still very much loves him, regardless of how much he pisses me off from time to time. All of this is such a terrifying endeavor... I'm still digesting the fact that i'm preggers, let alone with TWO! My mind is all jumbled, and i really wonder if any of this post will make sense to anyone. I love you all so much. Please give me your input on my decision, and give me your love and support in this ridiculousness that is my life.